I wrote this in June 2010 during a particularly difficult time in my life. It was during that low point that I learned to depend less on people and more on God to sustain me in every area of my life. God is always faithful! I hope this encourages you to look beyond your circumstances and the people in your life & do the same!
“As I stare out my window I look toward heaven.
I look at the countless stars in the sky then glance around at my surroundings.
I wonder: Is the Lord looking down at me? Does He really notice me?
How many times have I tried, but failed Him?
How many times will He forgive my stupidity?
Lack, insecurity, shame and guilt!
They keep me from attaining & maintaining my goal.
Hurt, anger & pain!
It’s all the same.
Forward, then backward.
Onward & upward.
Twisting & turning.
Wow! What a roller coaster ride!
So many feelings — bottled up inside!
Wishing I could just go somewhere and hide!
Hide from all the pain!
Who am I to want better?
How can I ask for more?
Lord, I turned to you and SWORE!
SWORE that I’d give you my all….
But I keep coming up short..
I’d hate to see my heavenly report!
I know people love me and wish me well..
But the hurt that resides….
it’s sooo deep inside…
AND besides…. Who am I that I should deserve to be happy?
Who am I that I should deserve to be blessed?
WHO AM I?
I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD!!!!!
and as such, I deserve nothing less than the best!
So while I may feel like I don’t measure up;
My FATHER in heaven looks at me and only sees the BEST!
Focus on your strengths and not your deficiencies!
God can and will take our mess and turn it into our message; our periods of victimization and turn them into our victories; our test/trials into our testimonies.
Above all: Love God and keep Him first!
Have faith and exercise it daily…..
Love people, no matter who they are or what they may have done….
Draw them to Christ and not to yourself!!!
YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD! AND AS SUCH, YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN HIS BEST!!!