If you read part 1 of “But… I am Just a Kid” maybe you initially thought, “Wow! She had a lot of love in her life from her family and her community. What a wonderful childhood!” But then as soon as you got to the last paragraph, you may have thought, “I feel bad for her.” Or “She endured a lot of hurts, pain and trauma. I hope she gets better”
There were many times in my life that I wanted to give up on myself. There were times when I no longer wanted to exist. Yes, that means I seriously considered taking my own life because I just couldn’t see my way through what I was dealing with. Let me clarify something, the first few posts in my blog will be about my PAST. This is definitely not how I feel about my life or life in general now. I am a firm believer that in order to be truly effective in helping someone who is or has endured pain become empowered and/or stay empowered, you have to be able to relate. Well, how can anyone know you relate to what they’ve been through or are going through unless you tell them first?
In truth, thinking about the things of my childhood no longer causes me hurt emotionally or psychologically. I am healed of those wounds, however, the scars do remain. Only sometimes do they hurt. In the literal sense, scars are healed wounds. As long as you don’t pick at them, they remain healed. I believe my scars are there so that I can encourage others who have been through similar struggles in life know that there IS an after! I simply choose not to focus on those things so that they don’t consume my thoughts or my life.
Anything we want to do begins with a thought. For example, you think about the direction of your life and maybe you see room for improvement or change. So what do you do? Either make the necessary changes or continue to wallow in discontentment. Whichever path is chosen, it began with the thought about the direction of your life, right? Right!
Much in the same way we want to make changes in our lives and decide to either be proactive (making change happen BEFORE it becomes a necessity); OR be reactive (making change happen BECAUSE it is a necessity); OR lastly, choose to be stagnant (being uncomfortable in the situations we’re in, seeing the need for change, desiring change but doing nothing). Here’s what I know for sure, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. In other words, you cannot think about the situations in your life that require change, desire change, keep doing the same things you’ve done (focusing on hurts, loss, poor decision making, etc) and believe that the changes you want will spontaneously occur.
To put it even more simply, if we want to heal from the hurts of our past, we must first decide that we no longer want those people, issues, hurts, emotional bruises, etc to overtake our thoughts. We must instead decide that the course of our lives is in our control! Allowing those things previously mentioned to remain in our daily thoughts gives power to them. Even as small as a ship’s rudder is, it changes the direction of the ship, no matter how large the ship is. In the same way, small changes in our thinking will change the direction of our lives, no matter how insurmountable our problems seem to be. God DID NOT create us to be victims, but victors!!!
You can live victoriously after any form of abuse or trauma! The key is to change how you view yourself, your life, the people in it and what happened to you. As a matter of fact, remembering that those things happened to you but are not who you are or who you’re destined to be will also help you as you move from living a life of victimization to living a life of empowerment!
Change your thinking. Change your life!!! Encourage yourself daily and often!
Look in the mirror and say “I am HAPPY, HEALTHY & WHOLE!”
Say it again: “I am HAPPY, HEALTHY & WHOLE!”
Again: “I am HAPPY, HEALTHY & WHOLE!”
And again: “I am HAPPY, HEALTHY & WHOLE!”
Say it until you believe it! I did & now I do!
Next article: “But…. I am just a kid” Part 2